Should I be punished for leaving?

I finally had my weekend away and boy that was needed. You may remember how tired I was feeling last month and how I hated to be a mother in that moment!

I received so much nice feedback from that blog post that I wanted to give you an update about how it was and how I am feeling. And I sincerely hope you all have booked YOUR time away! Have you?

I came home and was still a little lost the first few days. I didn’t really want to do anything or to think anything. I was very calm. The kids were their usual self but I stayed calm which benefitted them so much. Whenever their father would raise his voice I would take over in my very calm state and solve the situation in a very calm manner. It was great.

I spent some wonderful days in beautiful surroundings with wonderful friends. We talk so much and solved all the worlds’ crises! It was very therapeutic. We spent time in a spa and had nice food and of course lots of drinks!

It was wonderful.

Unfortunately this feeling doesn’t last. After a few days or weeks we go back to being stressed out and start raising our voices again. It is not our fault, this just happens. We get tired, we lose patience, we forget.

This is why it is so important to regularly take time for you. You don’t have to go away every other weekend although you may be thinking that this is what you need to really feel relaxed after years of stress. It doesn’t have to be excessive. Nobody has time or money for that! But you do need to book in some “me-time” from time to time This can be anything that you like doing. Going for a walk, getting a manicure or just a nice conversation with a friend. Anything you want, but you NEED to do it!

We get so lost in all our daily to-do lists because being a parent is a non-stop job! It never stops! Even when they grow up and move out of the house. It just never stops! This is a good thing. This is (hopefully) why we became parents. But you cannot forget yourself in this process.

While I was away I was worried that the kids would “punish” me after I came back. They normally do that. They act out in each their own way. One kid acts out on not wanting to eat anything and the other stops sleeping. This is the way they silently “punish” me for not being around. I was dreading it, but I learnt something truly valuable. This time around I learnt that they are not acting out on me for not being there, they act out on me feeling guilty for leaving them!

Woaw! What a revelation! This time I came back without any guilt. I came back with a refreshed caring mind. I came back with love. I enjoyed myself to the fullest and was recharged!

And guess what. No “punishment” Great!

This just goes to show how important it is for everyone involved that we take care of ourselves. Taking care of yourself is not only for you, but for your kids and for your partner! The kids love seeing this new energized happy mother! And they really enjoyed some time alone with daddy!

Total win win!

Now it’s your turn! No more excuses! Please go book your weekend away or schedule in some me-time. Do it now! Let me know what you come up with in the comments below!

 

Are you a mom? Want to learn how to take better care of yourself?

When we become mothers we are so good at taking care of everyone else and we completely forget ourselves and our needs! This is not about being selfish, this is about not pouring from an empty cup.

When we take care of ourselves we become much better moms, partners, daughters, sisters and workers.

Let me teach you how and grab your free ebook about my journey and what made it all turn around.

Just click here: –>> http://bit.ly/getrealwithanne

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I am hosting a series of free events to talk about life, health and wellbeing. See more here: www.facebook.com/events/319378295196837

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Why I hate being a mother!

Do you remember a few months ago I told you I was writing a book? Click here if you aren’t sure! The plan was to write all the content this summer. It was going really good in the beginning, but somewhere along the way, the book became less and less of a priority! I kept finding excuses for not writing. There was always something else that felt more important.

Yesterday one of my friends asked me about it and I was embarrassed to admit that the book has been put on hold. That is really what is happening. Sometimes you don’t know whether something is true or not before you have said it out loud.

After admitting it, I was trying to figure out why! I am a coach after all! I wanted to get to the bottom of it. It happens that said friend is also a coach, so she was curious too. We started asking and answering questions as we do while listening intently and this is what I realised:

My book is about motherhood and that it is ok to admit that it is hard. The book contains the story of my personal journey into motherhood and how it all changed my life. First to the worst, but then to the better! I finish by explaining in depth the several steps I recommend every mother to go through in order to live her best life possible and to be the confident, great feeling person she deserves to be. These steps are easy but I believe they are so important yet many mothers I know have yet to go through them! The book is obviously also about how much I love my children and how I love being a mother… blablabla…. And this is where I stop!

And here comes my big and daring statement: At this moment, at this very moment when I am writing, I hate being a mother and I wish I  never had children!

 

There it is – it is out there! It is a bold and honestly a quite scary statement.

 

Now before you go off and judge, please understand that I mean this in this very moment. Not all the time, but right now! I love my children dearly and I wouldn’t want my life to be in any other way, except for right now!

Saying it out loud to my friend yesterday felt really good and was such a relief. She laughed and said “well, that should go in your book!”. Ha-ha, the irony! She said I should call it a sh*t Chapter! Well, here is my sh*t blog post about it!

There is nothing wrong with my kids and they are not more hard work than any other kids. They are just normal kids with their normal kids behaviour! They have tantrums, they cry for no good reason – oh boy how I hate this!!! – they fight with each other, they fight over moms attention, they are just being normal small boys.

I long for the days when they don’t need me as much and I can actually have a normal conversation with an adult. Although when this will happen I know that I will miss the days when they were fighting over who gets to hold mommy’s hand!

**SIGH**

So what can I do about it? I am not going to sit here with all these feelings and not do something about it. That is just not who I am.

For starters I am going to put my book on hold for a little while and not stress over it. Then I am going to meditate, because meditation just feels good! I am usually in another hemisphere on the days when I meditate.

Another thing I do, or I did, is I went to one of my favourite yoga classes this week. Oh, this also felt so yummy!

Finally the Gods must have knows that I was going to feel this way because months ago I planned a girls weekend away which is happening this coming weekend! How lucky am I? At first I was nervous and worried for leaving my babies – how will they cope without me but now I am so looking forward to going away. Not only will I get some real quality friend time, but I will also get free time away from the kids. Away from little people yelling “mommy, mommy, mommy”. Oh boy, if I had a cent each time they said mommy!!

So this weekend I will trust that my boys are in good hands and are fine, even without mommy and I will enjoy myself to the fullest. I will be fully present knowing that I am doing something GOOD for myself! It is about time! It is about time that I start following the recommendations I give my clients and that I write about in my book.

My hope is that this weekend will give me the strength to finally finish it. Wish me luck and stay tuned!!!

Is summer already over?

Oh dear, it is almost September! This means summer is almost over! The dreaded season of going back to school and work is around the corner! How do you feel about it?

For the last few years my family and I have booked our last holiday in the beginning of September. We are doing this for several reasons. The South’s extreme heat for a Dane for one thing but also to subconsciously delay the dreaded season of going back to school! Everything gets busier. The streets fill up again and the supermarkets get busy. People are more stressed and seem to need to hurry everywhere! They forget to smile and quickly ignore their newfound energy from their relaxing holiday.

Every year I enjoy August in Luxembourg because the country is empty! There is no traffic and shopping goes quicker due to no lines at the cashier. I know Luxembourg is not a huge country, so it is nothing compared to London or Paris! But life does run smoother during August.

When we come back from holiday, it is just in time for the public school to start. This is a time for turmoil and confusion. “La rentrée” as it is called here can be quite stressful. New routines need to be set in place and everyone needs to be on board with them. School lunches need to be packed. After-school activities need to be scheduled. Meal planning needs to get going again. Someone needs to do the shopping. My exercise class starts up again – oh dear, do I have time to go or should I try something new? Before we know of it it’s Christmas and we haven’t done any of the things we said we would do, right? Especially when it comes to our health. I never managed to sign up for that new health class I wanted to try and I also missed the cooking class I wanted to go to.

Around Christmas and New Years we remember what we had promised ourselves the previous year! Was this the year you were supposed to take better care of yourself? Was this the year you would finally lose the extra weight or did you settle for the just-don’t-gain-any-weight solution because you figure you will never lose the weight anyway?

If this sounds like you why not try to do things a little different this year? The one thing we as women and mothers often forget is to take care of ourselves! We are so busy making things work for everyone else that we put ourselves at the bottom of the to do list! We forget to be nice to ourselves and we let ourselves go.

This year you can do things differently! How about learning some easy strategies you can put in place for yourself to finally break this viscous cycle and actually live your life with more energy and vitality?

I would like you to invite you to join a 5-day course where I teach you clear-cut strategies on how you can start taking better care of yourself! Each day for 5 days I will send you a new strategy straight to your inbox.

I have been there myself and I can tell you that the consequence of not taking better care of myself for me resulted in a burn out situation, where I didn’t recognise myself anymore, didn’t recognise my partner anymore and really wondered why I had kids in the first place. I gained unnecessary weight and I felt I had aged 10 years! I don’t want this to happen to you, so please don’t let this be your story. Even if this has already happened to you, you can still rewrite your story! Take action now and sign up for the 5-day course. It is completely free and may potentially turn your life around! Are you ready to gain more energy, reduce stress and improve your quality of life?

Sign up here: 5 Day Get Real Course

Start date is 20th September 2017. Mark your calendars! I look forward to connecting with you!